Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just had sex on a roof
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
