yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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