No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
