I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
