Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
