At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
