I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
