Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
