Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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