Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
