We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize