it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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