so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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