i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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