I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
