Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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