Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
