There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
