I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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