the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
