and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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