i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
