it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
