i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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