College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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