When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
