It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
