Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
