I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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