I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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