At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
