Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize