I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
