Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
