My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
