whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
