there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
