If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
