I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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