Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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