this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
