I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
