now i know why i became what i already was.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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