remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize