You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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