Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
