my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just found a bag of teeth...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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