I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
