my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
