I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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