Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Randomize
