and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
