Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
