I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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