WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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