you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
