Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
