Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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