When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
