There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
