Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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