So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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