She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
