I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize